Awaken The Beast: Snakes Henchmen MC Read online

  Anyway, Kai was a boy in school, whom I thought in my twelve-year-old mind, that I loved. I wrote his name all over my school books, followed him around everywhere he went. Until the day he told me that he would never date me if I were the last girl on earth.

  He was the first boy to break my heart. That heartbreak lasted an hour before Robbie Collins asked me out. My first boyfriend, who never even kissed me.

  The things we do as children, I can’t help laughing to myself.

  I lie down on my bed and close my eyes. There’s nothing like being home to help my mind relax. I’ve been worrying too much about things I can’t change. So VJ doesn’t love me, my world hasn’t and won’t end because of it. So I’m pregnant with his child. I’ll just have to deal with it and get on with things. If I keep this baby, then VJ has a right to know. It’s not wrong of me to expect him to help out with things. Somewhere deep inside of me, I know he’ll do it.

  I don’t need to keep beating myself up over him not wanting me for anything more than sex. He can only use me if I allow him to. Yes, I love him so much, and I would give anything to have him want me and love me in return. However, it’s not going to happen. I deserve to be happy, but only I can make that happen.

  Life isn’t so bad. I just need to remind myself now and again that I don’t need a man to complete me. I’m perfect the way I am.

  I’m woken an hour later by my Dad telling me that dinner is ready. He waits for me to climb off my bed so he can hug me. It always makes me feel safe when my Dad hugs me. Isn’t it the same for all girls?

  We eat Mom’s chicken pot pie, all the time smiling and talking about everything we’ve been up to since we last spoke like this.

  I’m annoyed when Mom tells Dad all about VJ and what I told her. I know that they tell each other everything, but like any good father, mine is not pleased, at all.

  “He is not the man for you, Chloe. I don’t want you dating him. You can do better.” Is what he’s told me three times already.

  At least he waited until we’d eaten, he would have put me off my food. That would have been a travesty because Mom’s chicken pot pie is to die for.

  “Dad, please, I’m a grown woman. I know it’s scary knowing VJ has problems, and I would be a liar if I said he wasn’t a dangerous man,” My Dad huffs, annoyed with me, annoyed that I have feelings for a man he’ll never understand.

  I reach across the table and take his hand in mine. “Daddy, VJ would never physically hurt me. I have no doubt about that. He would never allow anybody else to hurt me either. He’d probably kill anyone who tried.” I mumble to myself. “But the point is, he’s not a bad man, not deep down.”

  “I don’t care what he is deep down, Chloe. The only time I ever met him,” I narrow my eyes. I didn’t know they’d ever met. “I was over in Bardsville, picking up some timber. That kid was probably about eleven, tall for his age. His Daddy spoke to me because that’s the kind of man Shepard was. Even if he is a violent biker.”

  So my father knows that Shepard is a violent biker, yet he still spoke to the man with respect and isn’t really telling me what a bad man he obviously is, not the way he’s trying to warn me against VJ? I see a little hypocrisy going on.

  “Even then, I could see there was something evil within that boy. Everybody could see it. Just the look in his eyes told everyone who came into contact with him that VJ had the devil deep within him. I should have known something like this would happen when you met and befriended Max.”

  I bite the inside of my cheek. I just don’t know what to say to him. I’m not here to defend VJ and try and make my parents like him enough to accept him. There’s no point when we’re nothing, not even friends. However, I can’t help feeling sad for VJ. Not one person wholeheartedly believes he can be like everyone else.

  I’m not stupid enough to believe he will ever lead an entirely normal life, but the man isn’t Norman Bates for Christ’s sake.

  “Dad, I know you worry about me, but you have to trust that I know what I’m doing. VJ is never going to love me; therefore, there is no relationship. There never will be. Regardless of how I feel about VJ, I know I deserve to be loved.” I know that much at least.

  I hope one day VJ realizes what love is and how to let it in. However, I can’t just wait around for him to come and fuck me whenever he feels like it. I won’t do it. I’m not his girl, and I won’t let anyone belonging to his club think I’m with him either. There’s nothing between us, and I don’t need him to protect me.

  My parents now know there is nothing to worry about. I might be in love with the man, but that’s as far as it goes. There is no us. Because he’s not just suddenly going to wake up tomorrow and realize that he feels the same way about me.

  I won’t sit around hoping that one day it will happen.

  Shit, if I did that before I know it ten years of my life will have passed me by and nothing will have changed.

  No, I’m done. Officially.

  Chapter Sixteen

  VJ

  I grit my teeth as the call rings off once again. All night and half of today, I’ve spent trying to call Chloe. Not once has she picked up. I’ve checked with Max, Chloe isn’t there, and that’s all he’d tell me.

  So many things have gone through my head. Chloe is ignoring me, which wouldn’t surprise me. She’s out there with some other guy who’s treating her much better than I ever could.

  I shouldn’t care, should walk away and move onto the next bitch, but I can’t. Something is gnawing at my gut. I feel like I’m going crazy!

  I throw my phone on the bed and push my fingers into my hair, pulling it in frustration, and yelling at the same time. No woman has ever gotten to me like this before.

  When the fuck did I become the type of man who stays home trying to call a girl, who has clearly finished with him?

  Jesus Christ, this is ridiculous!

  I drop my head back on my bed and close my eyes. I need to get this girl out of my head, and there’s only one way to do that — fresh pussy.

  Grabbing my phone, I scroll through my contact list. Helen? No, too clingy. Sandy? Married now. Delete. I keep scrolling and deleting until I realize there’s no one in my contacts list worth calling after all these months.

  I laugh to myself. I’ve never once called one of these bitches. They give me their numbers, I put them in my phone, never to be used. The thought was all right while it was there, I suppose.

  I could go to a club or bar and have my pick of women. However, the truth is, I’m not feeling it. That’s a first for me, but I can’t get Chloe out of my head. I can’t, and I don’t know why. I have no idea what she really wants from. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do. What would I do if I did want a relationship with her?

  What the hell is a romantic relationship anyway?

  Why do women insist on putting labels on things?

  Can’t they just be happy with that you give them?

  I gave Chloe my time, my attention, my damn body. I’ve stayed away from other women when I could have been out there every night fucking any woman that looked at me, but I didn’t. Why isn’t that enough for her?

  I don’t want to lose my temper with Chloe, but I can feel it bubbling up inside of me. I want her for my own, or I’ll lose my damn mind completely!

  “She’s not here, VJ.”

  I called Max, but not for the reason he thinks. Well, not completely. “I need your advice.”

  “Oh, yeah. With what?”

  I close my eyes and rub my forehead with my fingertips. I don’t want to ask my younger brother for dating advise. However, the fact is, I’ve never dated anyone before. I don’t know how to go about this.

  I feel like a dickhead, but if I want Chloe to take me seriously; if I want to keep her, then I have to bite the bullet.

  “I need to know how you got Daisy to agree to be with you.”

  “I see,” I hear him take a deep breath. “Well, first of all, I didn’t bully Daisy into being with me.” I grit my teeth but say nothing. Most of what Max says pisses me off. I need to hear this, in any case. “I asked Daisy on a date, and she said yes. Of course, we were kids, so it was just a date to the ice cream parlor.”

  “Yeah, not going to happen. We ain’t kids, Max.”

  I sense him rolling his eyes. “You asked me what I did, so I’m telling you.”

  I sit up, on my bed, and roll my neck. “I need to know what Chloe likes. I’ve never done this before, Max. I’ve never wanted to get to know a girl beyond sex before.”

  He’s silent for a moment before he asks, “You really like her, don’t you?”

  I sigh. “Yeah. I don’t understand it, Max, but I want to try and give Chloe what she wants. I don’t want to be the asshole that takes away her choices.” I know that’s what I’ve been doing, but I didn’t realize it at first. I’m so used to getting my own way that I don’t think about how someone else feels. I’ve never had to.

  “I didn’t expect that to come out of your mouth.”

  “Forget it!” I snap at my brother. Bastard! This is why I don’t ask people for anything. They make fun of the situation. I’m not a damn child, and I won’t be laughed at like one.

  “Whoa, whoa, whoa,” I grit my teeth again and get to my feet. My gut is churning, and my fist clenches. “Calm down, VJ. I’m sorry.” I run my hand through my hair. “This isn’t rocket science, VJ. All you have to do is ask Chloe out. She likes the simple things — long walks, movies, boating on the lake, hell, even picnics. Grand gestures and splashing cash all over the place is a waste of time. Chloe isn’t into all of that.”

  Okay, so nothing flashy. Keep it simple. I can do simple.

  “So, take her for a walk by the lake?”

  “Yes. All you need t
o do is ask Chloe if she’d like to go for a walk with you. Tell her that it’s your first official date.”

  I make a mental note of everything Max is saying. I want to do this dating thing right, even though I know I’ll fuck it up somehow.

  “Don’t make any demands of her, VJ. Ask her questions.”

  “Questions? Why the hell would I do that?”

  “Yes,” Max sighs. “Questions about her life, her childhood, her work. Anything that will help you get to know her better. She’ll ask you questions also, and you’ll politely answer. That way, Chloe will get to know you better also. The night doesn’t have to end with sex. If Chloe wants that to happen, you’ll know. Don’t initiate sex, VJ, not on the first date.”

  I rub my forehead with my fingertips. This is a lot to take in. No sex? I’m supposed to take Chloe on a date and not have sex with her at the end of it? That’s going to be tough.

  “If Chloe doesn’t initiate sex, you drive her home. When you get there, you walk her to her door and ask if you can see her again. No matter the answer, you kiss her softly. Say goodnight, then leave. Believe me; you’ll leave her wanting nothing more than to see you again.”

  I nod to myself. Sounds simple enough. Ask Chloe out, go for a walk with her along the lake. Talk to her and ask questions about her life. Give her a ride home, ask if I can see her again, kiss her goodnight, then leave. I can do that.

  “Thanks, Max.” I end the call without waiting for a reply. I have a date to plan.

  * * *

  This is stupid; Chloe is going to say no. Max texted me this afternoon to let me know Chloe was home. Apparently, she’d been visiting with her parents. I don’t give a damn about that, but Max thinks asking about her parents would be a good talking point.

  I need to get Chloe to forgive me for being so cold at Sophie’s party. I know how I sounded, it was cruel, and for the first time in my life, I feel a tinge of guilt about what I did. I never want to see that hurt look in Chloe’s eyes again. That girl means something to me, something no one else on this earth could ever mean to me.

  I’m becoming obsessed with her. In just a few short weeks, she’s buried her way deep under my skin. I feel like I’ve been given a shot of something really fucking powerful, and I need more and more, yet the next shot is too far out of reach.

  “What are you doing here?”

  I raise my eyebrow. “Nice to see you too, Michael.” Cheeky little bastard. It’s crazy how much this kid resembles me. He’s even as big as I was at twelve.

  “I just meant that it’s odd to see you here.” He shrugs. He’s got a point; it’s not often I come around Nova’s place. I’m only here now because I need to ask my sister something.

  “Your Mom in?”

  “Kitchen.” Michael points down the hall toward the kitchen. I clap him on the should and head toward my sister.

  Nova looks up at me and smiles as she pours herself coffee from a decanter. “Want some?”

  I roll my eyes while taking a seat at the dining table. “You know I don’t drink that shit.”

  Nova laughs. “Just checking. So,” She pulls a seat from beside me and sits down. “What brings you here?” She takes a sip of her coffee.

  I lean back in my seat. “Chloe.”

  “You want to know how I knew I loved Tank, and if it was more than obsession?”

  What I want is to know how to get Chloe to forgive me. However, Nova isn’t wrong about me needing to know how she knew that she loved Tank. “Pretty much.” I came to Nova because no one else I know is like me. Nove may not be exactly like me, but she’s damn close.

  “I knew the moment I lay eyes on Tank that he was special. He got me, and he never tried to change me. Tank liked me for me.” She shrugs. I lean forward and rest my arms on the table. “He taught me how to be a parent, how to be the best me I could be. Moreover, he did it effortlessly.”

  “But how did you know...?”

  “That he was worth the risk?” I nod my head. Nova smiles and looks to the ceiling for a second. “I didn’t know, VJ. I just went with my gut. Something inside told me not to walk away from the man who had fast become my best friend.

  “I’ll admit that I was a little scared about what I was feeling. No man had ever made me feel the way Tank did. I knew I could either fo with the feeling, or push Tank away. I went with it because when I wasn’t with him, things didn’t make sense in my world.”

  Michael walks into the room and head for the fridge, his dark head disappearing into it. Nova smiles to herself while looking at her son. “I’m so glad I stuck with him.” She looks at me. “Understanding or not understanding love is one thing, but feeling it is a whole other. When it hits, it hits hard, and believe me, you’ll know it. As for obsession, we all get obsessed in one way or another when it comes to the person we love.”

  Nova reaches over and takes my hand, and she laughs when I raise my eyebrow. Touchy-feely crap is not in me. “Don’t sit and wonder what it could be like with Chloe, VJ. Life is so much better when you take chances.” She winks.

  “Taking chances ain’t the problem. I need to get Chloe to forgive me for what I said at Sophie’s party.”

  “VJ, Chloe is a wonderful person. Extremely special to have you tied up in knots like this. All you need do is show Chloe that she means something to you. Help her understand that you were confused, and she’ll forgive you.”

  “Just like that, huh?”

  Nova takes a deep breath. “What you need is to understand how what you said made Chloe feel.”

  I roll my neck and relish the pop. I get it, Chloe was upset by what I said. Why the hell she needs to drag it out is beyond me. I tried to explain things to her, but she ran off like a petulant child!

  “I tried to explain things to her, Nova, but she wouldn’t listen.”

  “Did you? Really, VJ?” I grit my teeth, and she laughs. “You’re ridiculous. You know that? If you care about Chloe, then apologize for you said, and mean it. Wouldn’t you rather see her smiling than crying?”

  “Of course, I would.”

  Nova smiles. “Then make her smile, little brother. Even an unfeeling man like you can manage that.” Bitch! “Go find Chloe, and make her smile. No matter what it takes.”

  I nod, thank her, and leave. It’s time I found that girl and explained things to her.

  Good luck with that, VJ

  Chapter Seventeen

  Chloe

  What are you doing here, VJ?” I pull the front door closer to my body. I do not want VJ thinking that I’m going to let him into my house.

  “Where have you been, Chloe? I’ve been looking for you everywhere.”

  Clearly not or he would have found me before now though it didn’t take him long after I returned. I also don’t believe for a second that he didn’t find out I was with my parents. He’s just pissed off that Max wouldn’t give him their address.

  “It’s none of your business where I’ve been, VJ.”

  “It is my business when you run off like a child!”

  I roll my eyes and try shutting the door in his face. However, VJ’s big hand slams against the door, stopping it from closing. I sigh, audibly. I’m not in the mood for this right now.

  “I’m sorry. Chloe, hear me out. Please?”

  I don’t want to hear him out; I want to kick in the balls and tell him to go to hell! However, I pull back the anger and let him come inside the house.

  I follow VJ to the livingroom. He offers me a seat like he owns the place. I shake my head and fold my arms around myself. There’s no reason for us to get comfortable, so I’d rather stand.

  “Look, I know what I said hurt you.” I scoff because he has no idea. “Please, Chloe, I’m trying here.”

  I stare at him for a moment. VJ is looking at me with pleading eyes. I can’t imagine this man pleading for anything, from anyone though he seems genuine to me right now.

  My resolve is wavering, and I groan inside. “Go on.”

  VJ takes a deep breath while running his hand through his hair. “I know what I said was harsh, but I reacted in the moment. Something about you spooks me, Chloe.”

  I blink, rapidly while narrowing my eyes. What about me spooks this giant of a man?