Awaken The Beast: Snakes Henchmen MC Read online

  Chloe

  VJ just doesn’t get it. He’s hurt me with what he said.

  However, I’m the stupid one because I thought there was something between us.

  I thought I was showing VJ that he was more than this unfeeling pig I see in front of me.

  I thought that I could make him love me.

  I thought that I could prove him and everyone else wrong and show him how to love someone, to love me.

  All the time we’ve spent together, I thought we were more than just sex.

  He’s a damn good actor; I’ll give him that. He had me fooled. However, I am a fool for, ever believing I could tame a psychopath.

  I have to cut him out of my life. Max was right; VJ will end up hurting me. Believe me; I’m pretty fucking hurt right now realizing I am, in fact, nothing to him.

  I stupidly went and fell for the man who feels nothing. However, I thought he did. All those times, VJ has kissed me, touched me, made love to me, or fucked me. All those times he’s held me in his arms at night and woken up with me the next morning. All those looks he gives me. The way he’ll sometimes touch my face before tucking my hair behind my ear just because he can’t stop himself. I thought he was falling for me too.

  How wrong was I?

  How fucking stupid am I?

  “What the hell is it you want from me, Chloe?”

  I sigh to myself and wrap my arms around my aching stomach. “Nothing. I don’t want anything from you, VJ. Whatever this was between us is over.”

  “It’s not over ’til I say it is.”

  “Wrong,” I take a step back from him so he can’t touch me. I don’t want this; I’m not a toy, I’m not a doormat either. I won’t be treated like this, no matter what I feel for him. He’s no good for me, and I’m only going to end up with a broken heart. “You don’t get to force me to be with you, VJ. You’ve made it clear to me and everyone around us that I mean nothing to you. Go find some other stupid bitch to play with, but I’m done. Do not follow me; I mean it.”

  “You walk away from me, and that’s it!”

  Fine by me.

  I don’t answer him; I keep walking. VJ doesn’t follow. Thank God.

  By the time I get home, I’m about ready to break. I take to my room and cry my eyes out over a man who doesn’t give a shit about me.

  Two days it takes me to realize VJ is just not worth it. He meant what he said to his sister’s, and he didn’t once try to contact me to tell me that he wants to talk.

  Fuck him!

  I won’t spend my life wallowing over a man who doesn’t give a damn. VJ can spend the rest of his miserable life alone for all I care. I’m done with him.

  However, I realized this morning that I would never be completely done. I’ve been so stupid, and I can’t take it back. It was Daisy who pointed out that she hasn’t heard me complaining about period cramps this month. My face went white when I realized my period is two weeks late.

  Daisy rushed to the store to grab a testing kit for me. I did it the second she got back. We waited together, found out I’m carrying a psychopaths child together. Now I’m terrified and alone, and I don’t know what to do. I can’t tell Max because he’ll hit the roof and tell VJ.

  Moreover, he’d do it in anger because he’s already been angry enough over the past couple days. My best friend was so worried about me. He did everything for me, both Max and Daisy. They made sure I ate, drank, washed. They sat with me on my bed, either side of me and watched films to cheer me up. I don’t know what I would have done without them.

  However, I can’t tell VJ that I’m pregnant, I can’t risk Max telling him either because I know VJ won’t want the baby. He’s the worst example of a father there could be. A damn psychopath? Who in their right mind would allow a person like that anywhere near children?

  Though I’ve seen the way VJ is with kids, the kids of the club, his niece’s and nephew’s, he’s amazing with them. They love him, and they all know if they ever needed anything all they have to do is to go to him, and he’ll be there. VJ doesn’t see that he’s anything special to those children, but he is. However, he doesn’t want me, so why on this earth would I think he’d want our child?

  I don’t know what to do; I’m not even sure I can keep this baby. I can’t be a single mother. I’m not strong enough. I might not even have my hearing at all by the time the baby is born, then what will I do? I won’t be able to hear my child crying when it needs me for something. Anything could happen to my baby because of it. Besides, I couldn’t afford the hospital bills. There would be too many of them throughout the pregnancy.

  God, I’m so scared, I don’t know what to do.

  I need my Mom right now, that’s what I need.

  I’ve packed an overnight bag. Daisy is going to drop me off at my parent’s house then collect me tomorrow. I just need one night in my childhood home. I’ll feel better then.

  My parents were in their forties when I was born, older parents who never thought they’d have a child, but then I came along. They loved me so well, I was and still am everything to them.

  It was hard growing up with parents who were much older than my friend’s Moms and Dad’s. People made fun of me often. However, I was never ashamed of them. No, not once, and I never will be. Everything they’ve done since the day I came into their lives was all for me. They gave me a wonderful childhood, even though we didn’t have much money. We had a lovely home. It was clean and warm. They worked hard to pay for everything I would ever need. They made sure I had a college fund so that school wouldn’t be a problem.

  We may not have had much, but I honestly never went without. I had toys at Christmas; we baked on Sunday’s, I helped my Dad in the garden when the weather was nice. I had stories read to me at night, hugs and kisses whenever I wanted them. I couldn’t have asked for better parents.

  I called my Mom this morning to let her know I’d be arriving mid-afternoon. She only lives a couple of towns over, but anyone would have thought it had been years since we last saw each other. When in reality, it’s only been a couple of months. I don’t get home as often as I’d like these days because of all the work I do, and my parents don’t often visit because they still work too.

  This time, no matter how short, will be just what we all need.

  It isn’t a long ride to my parent’s house. Daisy has the music turned up loud enough for me to hear it. I won’t be able to hear her talking if she tries with the music this loud though, which is fine by me, I’m not really in the mood to chat right now.

  I feel like my world is spiraling out of control. Before VJ walked into my life, I was fine. I went to work, and I had fun with my friends. However, since meeting him, and I only realized this morning, that I hadn’t seen any of my friends outside of Max and Daisy. They text me, but we haven’t met up, and the reason for that is because of VJ.

  I’m not blaming VJ, he’s never told me that I can’t meet up with my friends, but when he’s around all of my attention is on him. When he’s not with me, my friends are busy or already have plans of their own. It’s my fault; I know that.

  Well, from now on I’ll make time for them. Especially, Candy Rose, we’ve been friends all our lives. She’s one of my best friends, and I miss her.

  Daisy pulls up outside my parent’s house, right behind my father’s car on the drive. She turns off the radio and turns in her seat to face me. I do the same and smile back at her. “Try and relax while you’re here. Don’t think about VJ,”

  “I’ll try. Why don’t you come in? Mom’s at the door waving like a lunatic.” We both look over at my Mom waving at us, and we both laugh.

  “I won’t come in, babe, I need to get back. I promised Sophie; we’d go shopping. However, you’re Mom’s coming over so I can still say hi and won’t seem ignorant.” She laughs.

  My parent’s love Daisy and Max, they treat them as if they were their own children. I’m not sure they’d do the same with VJ. I’d be a liar if I didn’t say they I’ve thought about introducing them. I also thought about how my Dad would tell me that VJ was no good for me, that he didn’t want me seeing a man who obviously has mental health issues. My father is not prejudiced, but with a man like VJ and the problems he deals with, he wouldn’t want me to deal with it.

  Isn’t that what father’s do? They point out the floors of the man their daughter is with?

  I don’t even know why I’m still thinking about this; it’s not like it will ever happen. My Dad will one day get his wish about me meeting a nice man who loves me more than anything in this world, and I know I’ll love that man in return. We’ll get married and have children of our own. However, where does the baby inside of me come into this?

  Am I going to keep the baby and keep the father a secret?

  No, that won’t work, VJ isn’t stupid. Plus, he would never allow me to pass the baby off as someone else’s. He might not feel love, but there’s no way he wouldn’t want to be in his child’s life once it was here. The truth is, I’m a little scared that VJ would try and force me to be with him because of the baby and his need to possess what he believes belongs to him.

  Would I ever get away from him?

  I can’t think about this right now; Mom has poked her head through the driver side window, big smile on her face as she kisses Daisy’s cheek. “Hello! It’s so good to see you both.”

  “Good to see you, too, Margot. How’s Nolan?”

  “He’s very well, Daisy. He’ll be home soon. How’s Max?”

  I smile as they chat for a few moments about life and the reasons why Daisy can’t stay. My Mom can talk, and if you don’t cut her off, she won’t stop. “Mom, Daisy has to go.” I hug Daisy before my Mom can carry on talking about the new puppy my Dad has bought for her. “I’ll see
you tomorrow. Are you sure you don’t mind picking me up?”

  “Of course not. Love you, Chlo.”

  “Love you, too.” I climb out of the car and wave until Daisy is no longer in sight.

  I follow my mother inside the house and close the door behind me. I take a seat at the dining table and smile when she hands me a coffee, which I can’t drink. At least, I don’t think you’re allowed to drink coffee when you’re pregnant. I’m not sure, so I won’t drink it just in case.

  Mom takes a seat and then takes my hand in hers. My Mom is sixty-eight years old, old enough to be my grandmother. She has some lines on her face that give away her age in the light. However, she’s slim and always dyes her hair the soft shade of blonde she once was. The same color my hair is. Her blue eyes are always warm when she looks at me. I have never once questioned whether or not my Mom loves me. I only have to look in her eyes to know I am everything to this woman, and it’s the same with my father.

  My father is sixty-nine, and even though I know I could have twenty years left with them living and breathing, I fear every day that I could lose them at any time. They both still work when they should be enjoying retirement at their age. Mom told me once that working keeps them young and active. Mom works with kids with special needs, not something she’s always done, but took up around fifteen years ago.

  Dad works in an office in town, has done for the past twelve years. He works in the office of the local radio station. I’m not totally sure what he does there, a little bit of everything, I think. He even talks over the airwaves now and again when asked to.

  I’m glad they enjoy working, but I sometimes wish I could afford to have them retire and go on a trip around the world. They’ve always wanted to do that, but I know without a doubt that it will never happen for them now. It’s not that I’m agest, and I know my parents are very healthy. However, I just know they’ll never get the chance to travel before it’s too late. That hurts my heart so much.

  “What’s making you so sad, Chloe?”

  I narrow my eyes and smile, trying to mask what she’s already seen. “Why would you think I’m sad? I’m not sad, Mom, I just wanted to come see you.”

  She squeezes my hand affectionately. “Baby, you can’t-fool me. After everything you’ve been through, you don’t need to keep things from me.”

  I know that I don’t, but I really can’t tell her about the baby yet. I don’t know what I want to do about it, so I don’t want to tell my Mom and have her get excited about it only to be disappointed if I decide not to keep it. Because I know my mother, she’ll be happy for me, even if there is no father. She’ll tell me how she’ll be there for me, will help me with everything I need because she’ll never leave me alone to worry.

  However, I don’t want that. I love my mother, but it’s not her job to have to help me take care of a child I never even planned for, a child I’m pregnant with because my stupid pill didn’t work. A child I’m pregnant with because I let a stranger come inside of me repeatedly over the past few weeks.

  Plus, my poor mother will worry about me seeing doctors and having all those appointments for things, just the way she worried about me having the cochlear implants. I can’t afford any of it and nor can they.

  I could tell VJ and have him pay for everything; this is his baby as well. However, I’m not that selfish. It’s not his place to pay for everything, some of it, yes — not all of it.

  I want to tell my Mom that nothing is wrong, but I can’t. She sees right through me. I can’t tell her about the baby, but I can tell her about VJ.

  “I met a guy,”

  Her face breaks out into a huge smile. After what happened to me all those months ago, Mom has been trying to tell me to move on with my life. Not to let what happened, define the way I see men, that not all men are out there to hurt you. So I’m guessing this is good news to her. “You did? What’s he like?”

  I sigh. I’m not going to lie to her. “He’s a nice man. Terribly handsome, and tall. So not my usual type.” I chuckle. “I met him on a night out with Candy Rose. We hit it off right away. I’ve never met anybody like him before, Mom.”

  “You like this man?”

  “So much. I’m in love with him, but he doesn’t feel the same way.” I swallow back my emotions. I don’t want to cry in front of her.

  “He told you this?”

  I shake my head. “He doesn’t need to. I haven’t told him how I feel either. However, I know he’ll never feel the same way because he told me from the beginning that he’d never love me and I shouldn’t fall for him either, but it was hard not to.”

  “He sounds like a complicated man.”

  That’s an understatement.

  “Max already warned me away from him. He told me that...”

  “Wait,” Mom cuts me off with a shake of her hand. “Max warned you away from this man? Why?”

  Here goes. “Because the man I’ve been seeing is his big brother. VJ.”

  “The one who went to prison? The psychopath?!” She only knows this because Max was drunk here with my Dad one night and upset about VJ being in prison. He told my parents everything about the man, they’ve had an opinion about him ever since, and it’s not a good opinion. Actually, it’s incredibly judgmental.

  “Mom, don’t call him that. Yes, he’s been to prison, but VJ went to prison because he was protecting Max.”

  “He battered someone almost to death, Chloe! After everything that happened, you go and fall for a psychopath!”

  My Mom has never raised her voice to me like this. I understand as a parent, she’d be worried, especially after what happened and the hell we went through, but I thought she’d be a little more understanding of my feelings.

  “Mama, please don’t be angry. I didn’t mean to fall in love with him. VJ is a good man; he’s been nothing but kind and protective of me. He never lied to me about what our relationship was. He told me that he’d never love me, he thinks himself incapable of love, but I don’t believe it, Mom. I know he’s capable of it, I just don’t think he understands the feeling.”

  “You’re kidding yourself if you ever think a man like that will love you. He won’t, Chloe. All he will ever do is hurt you.”

  I swallow back my emotions. I don’t want to argue with my Mom about VJ, especially when she’s right. However, I feel the need inside of me to stand up for him. I know deep down that there is love in him. I know he’s capable. I know I could show him how to let it in, to show others just how much he cares about them.

  “I won’t give up on him, Mom. I love him. He needs me. I can show him that he’s more than he has been led to believe. Yes, he has a psychotic disorder, but I have never seen that side of him. To me, VJ is just a man who needs to be shown he is more than the monster inside of him.”

  Mom stares at me for long moments before she brings my hand to her mouth and kisses my knuckles. “Only you could think such a thing about such a dangerous man. You are such a beautiful soul, Chloe, I’m so proud of you.” She cups my face gently. “But please be careful. Don’t be fooled by the things he says. I’m not saying that he’ll lie to you, but he will keep things from you. Men like him always do. Can he protect you? Will he protect you?” I nod in honesty.

  There is no doubt in my mind that VJ would protect me. However, we’re nothing; he made that clear. He wants me because he can have me, but all he wants me for is sex. I am worth so much more than that.

  “What time will Dad be home?”

  Mom looks at the clock on the wall above the refrigerator. “Half an hour. I best get dinner on. Why don’t you go freshen up?”

  “You don’t need my help?” She shakes her head with a smile on my face. So I take my bag up to my childhood room.

  God, the place hasn’t changed since I was fifteen. My dresser still holds my perfume bottles and school books. Books with writing across them: Chloe loves Kai. I laugh to myself while climbing onto my bed. The same bed I slept in from the age of twelve until I left home. The same bed with the same comforter I had as a child, my soft comforter of green.

  Mom once told me it belonged to my grandmother — her mother. I never knew her because she died when I was just two years old. Her father died when I was five. I remember him a little, but not much. I knew my father’s parents, but they died when I was sixteen.